There's so much thoughts in the night. Not being emo, just purely late night thoughts and there's nothing wrong with my relationship.
My relationship with yx's going great. I appreciate him for accepting me and tolerating my horrible nonsense from the day we're together. I'm way too stubborn, sensitive, paranoid, demanding, unreasonable, moody and emo for no particular reason. On top of that, I've been taking things and everyone around me, especially yx for granted. Hate to admit that these are all my bad points.
Never expect that we'd be together till now. After my firstlove which lasted for the longest time, he's the only one that exceeds a month plus. He never once shout at me or flare up. He gives in to me all the time even if it's my fault. Everytime I wanted to give up on us or being negative, he'd be there for me and knock some sense in me. I really love being with him. The feeling's like bestfriend yet boyfriend. I'd always love my boyfriend to be my bestfriend. I'd joke with him all the time, act stupid, share with him about my past, rant to him about anything and everything. Whenever we're out and I recalled about my ex, I'd just blabber out. I knew he didn't like it but he didnt make a fuss and instead, he'd just listen. Tell me which boyfriend can take it that his girlfriend still contacts her firstlove family, have dinner at his house and his mum's her godmum. I'm glad to say yx's the only one. I know deep down, he feels uneasy, uncomfortable but he trust me.
Talking about trust, it has always been the biggest issue in my life ever! I know trust plays an very important role in a relationship but I still have problem with trust. I know it hurts not to be trusted by your another half but I simply can't force myself to trust. This is the biggest issue that I've got to overcome! ;(
Clubbing is another issue. Yeah, I love to club and I know yx love to club too! I'm being very unreasonable here, I hate that my boyfriend love to club. I'm against the idea of couple clubbing together. I believe I can never be my true self and enjoy to the fullest if my boyfriend's there with me. Not saying that I wanna know guys in club. Not saying i wanna grind with random unknown guys. No!! I just love clubbing with my girlfriends because they're girls afterall! Recently, just 2 days ago.. I went clubbing with my girlfriends and it's the second time eversince I'm attached. I broke the trust yx has in me. I got really drunk and couldn't take care of myself. Hate to say but yeah, he's very disappointed in me. He got so worried and came down to bring me back.
To be honest, I'm very happy to know that I mean alot to him. Never once did I believe his words but this time, I can really feel it! He's quite a protective guy and jealousy never escapes. Not saying that it's bad, it's a good thing actually! He's very fair to me too. He stop doing things that he don't like or want me to me. So yup, mutual agreement. I love the different ways he use to shower me with love. Sometimes I really wonder #dafuq did I do to gain such a nice boyfriend.
I love my life now and can't imagine my life without him. I think I'd prolly go back to nightlife and torture myself with alcohol. Neither do i wanna go back to the past nor let you go.
I love you dear, xoxo.
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